Saturday, December 27, 2008

My Therapy

Knitting has been great "therapy" for me. I just can't stop. And knitting something for M. (or M.'s friend, K. in Ethiopia) is the best feeling. Here is a little stuffed mushroom rattle I just finished for M.

So, being apart from our baby is getting near unbearable. I went to a party last night and one of the mom's brought her 2 1/2 month old baby girl. Now, I didn't know this mom and had no connection to her baby. It would have been so different if it was a friends baby, but I had a really hard time hearing the cries and noises from this baby. Talking about her acid reflux medicine and hearing all about her. Her mom thought I was crazy when the first thing I asked her was, "How much does she weigh?"...14 pounds. One pound more than M. at the time of the referral. How much is M. growing, what noises does she make, does she have acid reflux and pain from eating, can she hold her head up, is she crying right now...? This is what got me so upset...I just want to be a mother to M...now. I'm going to start knitting her a sweater...

8 comments:

Fine family said...

Girl I feel you! I know after we see them this will all melt away, but for now ouch...

Blog Shmog said...

This is the cutest thing! I love it!

Eryn said...

that is stinking adorable! I tried making rattles for christmas gifts with bells inside and they were lame. What do you use for the rattley goodness?

I feel ya...this christmas, I've had this big sense of something missing. I dont' think it's going to get better for awhile. :)

Christi said...

That makes so much sense. Keep knitting and writing about all of this...she will love reading about how much you loved her before you ever saw her. She has such an awesome mom!

dad-gramps said...

Yes, just keep up with the therapy. . . the time will be here and then ALL you each have to give will be waiting for you both. Take care and keep on KNITTIN'. . . Love to ALL!!!!

handfull of johnsons said...

I'm so sorry Autumn. I can't believe how long you've waited, and it's SO much different than a pregnancy where you can just feel your tummy and know they're okay. I've beed addicted to Adoption Story lately on Discovery Health, and almost always there is someone at the foster home or orphanage who has been loving on that adopted child while the parents wait. That's what I'm praying for. While you and Dan are hurting and counting down the days to get her, there's somone at M's orphanage who is diapering her and cuddling her and saying "I don't want her to go yet! She's been my favorite!"
And even better than that, she's in God's hands too, with my future baby, until they get to be with the best mommies on the planet!!!
Love you to bits and bits and can't wait for her to get here!!!

ruby and wade's house said...

oh Autumn hang in there girl. so understandable what you are going through and thank goodness for this "therapy". i agree with your friend, keep writing so later on she will know.soon it will all happen and how lucky she will be to have you and dan and rhett as her family!

Erica said...

I want to knit! That is SO cute! Love it.