Friday, July 1, 2011

Love And Loss

I'm sitting hear with my now three month old. Overwhelmed by the love I have for her. Overwhelmed. I have a hard time putting her down to sleep, leaving her to go to the grocery store, or listening to her cry. When I look down at her sitting in her chair and she gives me the biggest smile...I think the feeling is mutual. She relies on me (and Dan of coarse) for so much.

This realization brings us to our older daughter, Mezmur. Our strong and sassy girl. She was a little over two months old when she was separated from her primary caregiver. She never saw that person again. It may have been the one who fed her all her meals, let her sleep on their chest, and picked her up when she cried. It may have been the one she gave her first smiles to.

I could not imagine being separated from Mavis, knowing I would never see her again. I couldn't imagine what trauma Mavis would go through losing her family forever.


Adoption is beautiful, but it is also tragic. We hold Mezmur closer to us these days thinking about the loss she had at such a young age. We also think of the loss the one who loved Mezmur the most had the day they had to let her go.

5 comments:

Christi said...

Beautifully put.

Robin Fine said...

You spoke my heart in regards to Hasina. We are blessed to be part of their lives ;o)

April said...

Absolutely. I feel this intensely these days too.

rachel said...

we have felt these exact same things. when we first brought Evie home, i would think about it a lot. what was her birth like? was she conceived in love? when did her mom know she would have to let her go? i just cannot imagine... i think for dan and i those feelings spurred us on to advocate more passionately for ways to keep birth families together and to remind ourselves (and others) that adoption is a band aid approach to a much bigger problem, a very last resort.

Duncan said...

A touching post. Both girls are beautiful and the whole family unit is a blessing. A child adapts but there is no replacement for loving feelings and for that all your children are blessed. Give them all a hug from us who are far away. . . BUT ALL SO CLOSE IN HEART. A special love to all today and always. . .